Sunday, 30 December 2012

5 tips to go from party chika to good girl for post shenanigans family times...

Long time, no blog.

Been a busy bee of late, but I'm back baby.....& I'm reminding you of all the common sense stuffs you want/tend to forget at this time of year....

The holiday season hath swept upon us and the biggest party night is almost here. We've already had almost a week of over eating and the occasional tipple, but the night that tops off festivities is nigh.

Problem is, most of us want to party, but do we really want everyone to see the true nick of us the next day when we're expected to show up for 'family time'?

I think not.

So what can we do with ourselves that will make us slightly more human without costing us the earth (not that you can buy anything as the shops are all shut, but, y'know...)?

Well, here's 5 tips that shouldn't cost you, they may seem super simple, but lets face it; common sense just ain't that common....

1. Your a lemon

Remember that lemon you got for your house drinks before you headed out (if you made it that far), cut off one slice then forgot about? Well, go get it. Your gonna want to hydrate like a bitch, a wee lemon slice in your water (warm water and sugar if you can drink it) should give you a wee bit of pep as well has giving your poor wee liver a helping hand. 
If your capable of dragging your sorry ass to the shower (and you really should try your best) you could do worse than using half a lemon to rub over your skin to get rid of the deathly booze smell. I learned from CSI that it can get rid of all kinds of awful smells from your skin, so knock yourself out. 

Don't have any lemons you say? Well then fuck right off, what the hell kinda hostess are you anyway....

2. Cleanse my pretties, cleanse.  

Right, I know your all thinking 'well, dah' at this point. But we're not talking the usual quick rub over your face with some cotton pads and a blob of cleanser here, that ain't gonna cut it. You've just partied like a crazy, the booze has been escaping through your pores during the night and, chances are, you didn't do the best job before bed when you could see three of you in the mirror...hence the panda eyes. First get your cleanser on your finger tips and rub it over your face being sure not to rub it in. Then get a lint free facial cloth. Obvs you may not have one, so I'll forgive you for using a hand towel just this once. Run it under the hot tap, get it as warm as you can stand then place it on your face. You want to open your pores as much as possible to get rid of all that grime. Then gently rub inwards in circular motions. Be sure to get all that mascara gone. If you've got a wee bit eyelash glue left over take it off with some tonner. 

Your face is now clean and mildly exfoliated. I wouldn't recommend using  exfoliating beads etc if you have them, cos lets face it, in your nick it's likely to leave you with a bright red face the rest of the day....

3. Freshen up, yo.

Now your peachy clean. Time to feel fresh (if your gonna vomit from last nights over indulgence get it done between these 2 steps).You opened those pores to clean them, now you want to get them closed tight! Run the cold tap, you want the water as cold as you can bare. Scoop it up in your hands and get it on your face. We're not talking a quick splash here, really pat it into your face. Do it as many times as you can stand or before the frost bite kicks in, depending how hardcore you are. If all that motion is making you feel sick you can fill the sink with the cold water and dunk your face into it. Just be sure not to drown yourself. Now give your skin a good moisturize! I know your skin feels mingin' due to all the toxins coming out during the night, but booze does dry skin out like a mo-fo. 

Now your pores are locked tight, your skin is pink and refreshed looking and your skin is tingling. It'll wake you up and should help get rid of that tired burning feeling behind your eyes.

                      From this                                       To this
          Just by listening to Evil-Lynne's common sense advice!!

4. Dark circles ahoy.

Now to deal with those delightful blue smiles under your eyes; the dark circles. If you don't get these after a night out then you need to be locked in a lab and studied!!
Everyone batters on about Touch Eclat. If you don't have it (which lets face it is most of us, it ain't cheap), don't despair.
I'm guessing you all have concealer, right? And red lipstick, right (if not, skip this part....and seriously re-think your make-up bag!)?
These 2 combined can go a long way to getting rid of ol' blue eyes. Creamy or liquid concealer is best if you have it, you don't want to use anything to dry or heavy on the delicate eye area. Get some concealer on the back of your hand. Then get the red lippy and mix a tiny bit in with it...your escencally mixing your own colour correction. You want to apply this BEFORE your foundation, just a little at a time until you see the blue skin softening. You can layer it with your foundation, but remember, not too much on such delicate skin. 

If you've got Touch Eclat, and plan on using it, be gentle. I have seen some severe cases of reverse panda eyes with that... a dead give away of the hung over lady. And please remember it's a highlighter, not a concealer. Cover your spots with it all your doing is drawing attention to them...esp if you get your photo taken. 

Now get the rest of your face all foundationed up.

5. Brighten, don't blighten.

Another common sense one. 
You want to look fresh and life-like, nothing should reveal the train wreck from the night before. Less is more.The most common mistake of the hungover lady is trying to cover a multitude of sins with a TON of make-up. Stick to the basics; base, blush, light mascara, light brows (strictly no 'Scouse-brow'...ever!) and a wee bit of lip balm or warm pink gloss for the lips....simple, simple, simple. If you feel your eyes still look a bit tired a wee bit of white pencil on the lower water line will make your eyes look a bit bigger and brighter. Simplicity means you'll look and feel fresher as well as giving your skin a wee rest from the carnage that was the night before. You'll be a bit puffy, might have puked/cried earlier in the morning, lots of eye shadow and blush is gonna do is emphasize this and weight down your face and draw attention to your blood-shot eyes. You have pressure points in the inner corner of your eyes that help release some of the fluid your face is retaining. You could do worse than giving then a rub.

Now to brighten. DON'T got nuts with the skin highlighter, you'll just end up looking like a fem-bot....& that's fun best left for another time. Not everyone has a skin 'illuminator', again, they can be costly, but I'm betting most of you have a wee sneaky pink shimmer eye shadow in the make-up bag. That'll do the trick nicely, just remember a light dusting with a blush brush is all you need (no glitter shadows though, unless your going for the fairy look). If worse comes to the worst then you can always use the tiniest wee bit of Vaseline.You want to concentrate on your best features and lift your face. This means a little along the cheek bones and the brow bones. You can also go down the middle of your nose and jaw line depending on your face shape. 


You are now a fresh faced glowing princess. Go forth and hug your granny, kiss your boy/girlfriend and join in the family fun......but don't for one second think you'll fool your Mum. 'cos that will never happen.

Thank you for reading. And always remember....Lady Bon loves you...


  1. haha I love this, normally I manage to look ok after I plaster on the slap, but I can never hide the red eyes and magical vomit action every ten minutes sadly.
    Hope you have a great Hogmanay xx

  2. Well, I for one plan on staying n bed as long as possible in order not to deal with it at all!
    Hope you have a good one too chick..